The United States Of Kowlaski
by Rakai123
Summary: Human. The new neighbors finally move in and Rico and Skipper are actually enjoying them more than they thought they would. Only one problem: this new family is insane! yaoi/slash. Kico
1. Chapter 1

A/N: WAHOO! I'm alive! Anywho, my much more sane friend, Dark Twilight Rose, got me obsessed with Penguins of Madagascar. Which is the reason why I wrote this story. And also, United States of Tara is one of my favorite shows, other than PoM, of course. Oh yeah, and Rico can talk in this story, just he prefers not too, most of the time. And I was going to give them other names, and their names from the show could be codenames, but I decided not to the last minute, so yeah.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Penguins of Madagascar, they belong to Nickelodeon. I also don't own United States of Tara, but I DO have DID (or MPD, whatever you prefer).

WARNING: yaoi/slash!

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"Damn, we don't even speak the slightest Spanish, yet I love this song. Good choice, Rico." A young boy said. His friend nodded and smiled.

"I know right," the other, taller boy said in response. "I don't even know how I found it." The two boys were sitting in the shorter boy's room, listening to Aprovéchalo by Wisin and Yandel, a Spanish song. Neither of them understood it, but they liked it anyway. They were both around sixteen, in their sophomore year of High School. The taller boy was named Rico, the shorter one, Skipper. They sat there just enjoying the music when they heard something from outside.

"Ah! My invention! They broke it! God, what I wouldn't do to kill those movers!" The two boys in the room looked at eachother and shrugged. The shorter one went to his window and looked outside.

"Oh, the new neighbors are finally moving in. Ooh, that one is kinda cute." Skipper said, quiet interested in the new neighbors. Rico laughed at the last statement his friend made and went to the window as well. "Oh, I take that back, the other one is cuter. He looks a little younger than us though. Maybe two years, three years max." Rico also looked out the window, but was only able to see the younger boy Skipper was talking about.

"Let's go meet them," Rico suggested. Skipper nodded and made his way downstairs and out the door with Rico close behind. Once outside, they heard more yelling from inside one of the two moving trucks. It was probably the boy from before, the first one Skipper spotted. The younger boy was outside unloading some boxes from the closest truck. He saw them and smiled. Skipper and Rico smiled and waved hello.

"Hey, welcome to the neighborhood!" Skipper said once they were closer to the younger boy.

"Oh, thanks! I'm-"

"Oh, hello!" Said a new voice, interrupting the younger boy. "How are you boys? We're the Anderson's! Would you boys like some lemonade? Private, take them inside and hand them some lemonade while I go get your brother." Then she left for the other truck. Skipper and Rico looked at eachother and laughed it off.

"Sorry about that, my mum is... unique." The boy, Private, said. It was then that Skipper noticed something.

"Wait she's your mom?" Skipper asked. Private nodded. "Then why is it that she has and American accent, and you have an English one?"

"Oh, that. Yes, well I was raised in Britain with my father. And my brother was raised up in Maine with my Mum. They were divorced you see and just recently, last year during Christmas, when we all get together, they fell in love again. Then we all decided to move here to New York. I don't think my brother is too happy about it though, I mean the New York thing..."

"Hey, Private where's your mother?" Another voice said. It was a man, probably Private's father. He seemed oddly to young to be a father, then again so did his mother. "Oh, hello boys. I'm not sure if my wife already said this, but we're the Anderson's and this is my son Private."

"Father, they already know that!" Private argued.

"How many times do I have to tell you to call me Dad! It's the American way! Anyway, I have to go fetch your mother. Get these boys some lemonade, will you?" Then his father left to the other truck, where you could here and argument over something between the other boy and his mother.

"But mom! I have to fix it! Those god damn movers! Can't they read, it says FRAGILE!"

"Son, relax! Now go and meet those nice young boys who took the time to welcome us!"

"Ugh, I'm sorry. My family is so weird. Come on inside for some lemonade, my brother will likely meet us in there." The boys laughed and followed Private inside. They still could hear the argument that didn't seem to be ending anytime soon.

"Ugh! Mom, you're so...dammit! Fine!" Then the father said something they couldn't quiet make out. "You're such a Brit, dad!" Then laughter.

"Uh, wow," Skipper said, trying not to laugh. Private sighed. They finally got inside and could no longer hear the argument. "Sweet family."

"Ugh, we're such a bunch of crazies," Private said.

"Well, then you'll fit in perfectly!" Skipper said laughing. The others joined in, when they heard the door open.

"Hey Private have you seen the screwdriver? I need to use it to fix my-"

"No, no I haven't and didn't mom tell you to stop messing with that thing?" Private answered, stifling a giggle when he heard the other growl. Finally the other came in the room. He was quiet tall, and looked a little stressed. Skipper smiled and waved, but stopped when he noticed the look Rico had on his face. He was looking at the other boy like...like he was in love. Skipper then smirked devilishly at Rico. The other boy made his way to the three boys and finally caught the stare from Rico. At first he had look of surprise, then he returned the goofy look Rico was giving him. Privet giggled along with Skipper. "Aww love at first sight! I thought you didn't believe in that crap, Kowalski!"

"What?! Private!" The taller boy, Kowalski, said while shooting a glare at his younger brother. "Don't you have some lemonade to hand out?!" Private giggled but went over the the cupboard, anyway. "Ugh, ignore my brother, he's only fourteen, he's so naïve. Anyway, I'm Kowalski. And you?"

"Oh, I'm Skipper and this is my buddy Rico, he doesn't talk much, you'll get used to it." Skipper said.

"Yeah, likely. I'm still not used to this insane family though. I'm the only sane one! My mother has MPD, or DID, whichever you prefer, and my father-"

"What's MPD?" Skipper asked, curiously.

"Oh, it's Multiple Personality Disorder. She has like, three other personalities." Kowalski said.

"Yeah, like from the show United States Of Tara! I love that show it makes me feel like our family is normal..." Private said handing the others lemonade. "And actually, Kowalski, there are just two. Let's see there's Jeffery, he's the really strict guy, who hates us."

"He doesn't hate us, he is just very... well, strict and uptight. And anyway then there's Tanya, she's a slob! I hate here, she's fucking lazy as hell." Kowalski said in disgusted way.

"Kowalski, language!" Private said shaking a finger. Kowalski rolled his eyes and took a sip of his lemonade.

"Then there's our father, who's a comedian. Ugh..." He rolled his eyes again. "And then there's you, Private. You're like, the stereotypical British guy. Your life revolves around tea!"

"It does not! I just have a thing for tea, it's great! And don't think that you don't participate in the family craziness! You, the child pro- pre-, whatever!" Private cried his arms in the air.

"Prodigy! That does not mean I'm crazy, just intellectual!" Kowalski defended.

"Child prodigy?" Skipper said, quiet astounded. Kowalski sighed.

"I hate explaining 'cause I feel like I'm bragging. Anyway, I have mastered mathematics, the sciences and others of an adult level at an early age. You can blame my mother. She's a chemist and philosopher, and I was raised by her most of my life."

"Wow, that's cool. So what, have you skipped lots of grades?"

"I should have. I should almost be in college right now, but my mother didn't want me too, mainly because she thinks I need to enjoy my childhood, or whatever it was she said. So what about you guys? What are your families like? As insane as ours isn't likely."

"Ugh, my family is totally like strict. My mom was in the army for who knows how many years, and my father is currently in the Navy. They expect too much from me." Skipper explained. "Rico has a more decent family. His father is a therapist, and his mother has anger management issues, but normally makes up for it by being way too nice when she's not mad."

"Is that how he got that scar?" Private asked, finally noticing it.

"Oh yeah. His mother got angry for some reason and threw a plate at the wall, unfortunately Rico went into the room just then. Let's just say he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Right Rico?" Skipper looked at his friend sympathetically. Rico nodded and laughed remembering how much his mother freaked out when she noticed she hit him instead of the wall.

"Hey, do you guys want to the park? We chilax and get to know eachother more." Private said happily. The others nodded all expect Kowalski.

"Chilax? Ugh, it's not a word, Private. But fine, it is a good idea." They all left for the park that was not too far away, leaving their lemonade abandoned...

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A/N: I split this chapter into two right here. It's not that it would've been too long, it's just, I wanted to. Haha, I'm so weird. Anywho, I'll post the next part as soon as possible just not today, I'm busy and tomorrow school starts :( anyway R&R! Hope you enjoyed this chapter cuz I did!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Okay so here's the second chapter. Heehee, this part is more slashy, but not at all at the same time! :3 enjoy!

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The park was small, but it was most definitely cute. There wasn't anyone there, so the boys had it to themselves. Kowalski and Rico had been smiling and glancing at eachother the whole way there and Skipper and Private didn't fail to notice. They could handle it anymore and burst out laughing, receiving glares from the other two.

"Aw young love! It's so amazing, is it not, Skippah?!" Private said laughing and holding on to Skipper. Skipper didn't answer, he was too busy holding his stomach while laughing harder than before.

"Why did we come with these guys?" Kowalski asked himself aloud. Rico rolled his eyes thinking the same thing.

"Anyway, who wants to be childish with me and go on the jungle gym?!" Private said while pointing at said jungle gym. Skipper smiled and went with him explaining that it wasn't childish, but it was good exercise and training, etc.

Kowalski got nervous all of a sudden realizing that they had left himself and Rico alone. He sighed, then winced. Perhaps that sigh was just a little too loud and attention grabbing. Rico glanced at him and smiled.

Meanwhile, Skipper and Privet stopped "training" and were spying on the two "lovebirds".

"God, Rico better ask him to go on the swings with him," Skipper whispered.

"Ooh! Yeah, that can be so romantic. Uh, I hope Kowalski doesn't ignore his feelings because of what happened with his ex." Private whispered back. Skipper looked at Private with a questioning expression. Private understood and answered his unstated question. "There was this guy he really liked. He might have even been in love, because he even stopped doing his science crap. They started going out and Kowalski, well he was happy as a clam. Of course we were happy for him, but I couldn't help but not like the guy. He had a reputation of cheating on people, but Kowalski didn't know that and of course didn't believe me. You can probably predict what happened, huh?" Private asked. Skipper nodded sympathetically. He felt sorry for Kowalski. Even worse, the whole situation was so cliché. Then, he noticed Rico did just what he was hoping he'd do. He pointed to the swings. He smiled, Rico would never even think of cheating on someone, especially someone he actually likes.

"Huh? You want to go on the swings, Rico?" Kowalski asked. Rico nodded and took him by the hand before he even had a chance to respond. Kowalski was surprised, but gave in to the idea. They didn't really do much on the swings, but sit. Rico swung just slightly. It was a nice day. It was fall, the leaves were scattered everywhere and there wasn't much noise, except for the squeaking of Rico's rusted swing. Kowalski sighed again. He wondered why he couldn't hear Skipper or Private, but decided to let it go and enjoy the moment. He was ripped from his thought when he saw Rico reach for something in his pocket. It was a flier.

"Look," Rico said handing the flier to him. Kowalski studied Rico's face before grabbing the flier. It was for a fair.

"Oh, a fair, neat." He looked at Rico. Rico hesitated, then pointed to Kowalski, then to himself, and lastly to the flier. "Do- do you... want to go with... me? To the fair, I mean?" Rico nodded. "Like a d-date?" Rico again, nodded. "Oh, well. I don't know. I-I don't think I want to get to a relationship after what happened with my ex. He cheated on me and..." He looked at Rico sadly. "Sorry..." Rico, instead of being sad, smiled.

"Okay." He said and looked away, still smiling.

"You're... okay with that?" Kowalski asked shyly. Rico nodded, still looking the other way. "Oh... that's very... sweet, Rico." Rico smiled at him. Kowalski smiled back,blushed, then looked away. "M-maybe... I'll ask my mom if I can go." Rico gasped lightly and smiled widely. Kowalski smiled back. They were interrupted by a squeal from behind them.

"Shh! Private, you'll blow our cover!" Skipper whispered harshly. Kowalski and Rico looked at eachother and laughed.

"Kaboom!" Rico said. Kowalski laughed and said, "Too late, cover blown to smithereens!"

"Damn!" Skipper said from where they were hiding behind the jungle gym. They all laughed.

–

The next day...

"PRIVATE! We're going to be late to our first day of school!" Kowalski screamed from downstairs. Private sighed. He was about to argue, but decided not to, after all it was _Kowalski_ he was dealing with. He took one last look at himself in the mirror and made his way down the stairs.

"Kowalski, you've been acting differently lately. I mean ever since we moved, you've been more... mean and impatient." Private said once downstairs.

Kowalski thought for a moment before answering. "Huh, actually you have a point. I would look into it if it wasn't for, oh I don't know... WE'RE LATE FOR SCHOOL!" Private winced and mumbled something as Kowalski went outside and into their father's car. Just then their mother appeared from around the corner, readying herself for work.

"Mother? How did you get your MPD? Is it contagious... or maybe genetic?"

"Oh honey, there is no time for questions, we're all going to be late for our first day of work. But if you really want to know, you're born with it. And I believe it is genetic, now hurry up and get in the car." His mother responded as she hurriedly put her heels on and ran outside.

"So it _is_ genetic... I think I might just have to be like Kowalski for a bit and do some experiments..."

–

"Okay class, I would like to introduce a new student to our class. No, instead how about you introduce yourself?"

"Uh, sure. I'm Kowalski Anderson. Hello."

"You forgot to mention that your a child prodigy! Class, give him a hand." The teacher said clapping while the class lamely joined in.

"I told you not to say that part!" Kowalski angrily whispered to his new teacher. The teacher shrugged and pointed Kowalski to his seat. Kowalski sighed and made his way slowly to his seat getting whispered insults along the way many of them being "show off". Once at his seat he placed his head in his hands and thought to himself. _This happens at every school I've ever been in! Great, just great._ He was snapped out of his thoughts by a "psst" from next to him. He smiled thinking that it might have been Rico. When he turned, however, he was met by someone he didn't recognize and his smile faded.

"Hey cutie. I find smart guys to be really... _a__ttractive_." Kowalski blushed as he stared into the other's exotic green eyes.

"Julien! Stop distracting the new student! It's not talky time!" The teacher said before turning around and continuing with the lecture. The other, presumably named Julien, rolled his eyes and looked Kowalski up-and-down.

"I'll talk to _you_ after class." Julien said with an exotic-type accent as he turned away leaving a reddened Kowalski.

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A/N: Sorry it's so f*cking short!!! You can't blame me. Besides this is amazing for me having a writer's block. And lol at that last part, I just _had_ to make Julien fall for Kowalski, not only does it add drama, but I do like the couple. Of course, I don't like anywhere near as much as Kico ;)


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